Use of Language

I just finished reading a very entertaining post on Ars Technica on "The ten most hated words on the Internet." Though I'm in the field of information security, my undergraduate and graduate days in college were spent in the field of English Literature¹, so I always appreciate posts like the one from Ars Technica. After reading the post, I got to thinking about the various uses (and misuses) of the English language that drive me nuts, so I thought I'd post them here just for fun. I'd enjoy hearing about the words or phrases that drive you nuts. My feeling is that while it isn't necessary for a person to be a superlative writer/speaker, one should at least have a firm grasp of the fundamentals of their own language. Is that too much to ask? So without further ado...

Words and Phrases That Should Be Banned²

• ping - As in "I need to ping Bob about that meeting tomorrow." Grrrrrr.
• irregardless - This one makes my skin crawl. The word is "regardless."
• the misuse of "me" and "I" - Sadly, this one is so common, most people probably aren't even aware of the fact that it is often used incorrectly. Here's an example of misuse I just heard earlier today: "If you have any questions, give John or I a call." **shudder** Here's the trick I learned from my 6th grade teacher. If you aren't sure whether to use "me" or "I," drop the other part (in the above example we would drop "John or") and the answer becomes obvious. You woudn't say "If you have any questions, give I a call," so the correct word in this context is "me."
• iAnything - Personally, I thought this got old after iMac.
• moot vs. mute - As in "that's a mute point." Fortunately, I don't hear this one as often as I used to, but I still here it with some regularity. The word is "moot." A moot point is a point that needn't be decided as the result of a change in circumstances.
• incentivize - There are lots of words like this, where people tack on an "ize" ending and try to make a verb out of a noun. Don't do it. As soon as I hear someone use one of these made up *ize words, my first thought is "Oh, you're one of those."
• "blog" as a verb - I don't really care for this word at all, but I can deal with it as a noun, as in "Have you read my blog?" What I can't abide, though, is its use as a verb. "I'll have to blog about this," or "I blogged about that yesterday."

¹Specifically, Medieval English Literature, with secondary foci on Shakespeare and Classical Greek Drama. Not the most useful of skills by today's standards, but if you ever need to conjugate a verb or decline a noun in Middle English, I'm your guy.

²If not outright banned, at a minimum there should be penalty of a heavy fine and 20 hours of community service for each infraction.

The Anti-Mentor

I just finished reading an interesting article that brushed up against a theory that I've had for a while. In the article, the author refers to the "Anti-Mentor," a manager or boss that provides ample learning opportunities by way of what not to do. Specifically, the author gives reference to the "polished veneer" of his Anti-Mentor. In part, this comes down to integrity, which I discussed in a previous post. Beyond that, though, we move into the area of my theory: that such pathological disingenuous behavior is a form of psychosis. When that thought first occurred to me, it was very much tongue-in-cheek. After years of working in numerous environments, however, the facetiousness of that statement has steadily decreased. Consider the definition of psychosis from the Full American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary : "A severe mental disorder, with or without organic damage, characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality and causing deterioration of normal social functioning." Speaking for myself, I can't count the number of times I've had one of these Anti-Mentors change personalities right in front of my eyes, or (my personal favorite) be helpful and supportive to me and then turn right around and try to sell me out in an attempt to conceal their own incompetence. It reminds me of a good ol' Southern phrase I heard a long time ago: "What do you expect from a pig, but a grunt?" I realize that a.) I am not a medical professional and am in no way qualified to make a diagnosis such as psychosis; and b.) I am stretching the definition of psychosis to (and probably past) the breaking point. Even so, it does help to cast the situation in a different light. These Anti-Mentors are infuriating to say the very least. However, it is probably worth viewing them with understanding and a touch of pity. When confronted with an Anti-Mentor, know them for what they are and expect that they will fundamentally always be true to their Anti-Mentor nature. Knowing what they are and what to expect from them makes dealing with them a little less painful.

Who says network people aren't funny?

I was working on a couple ideas for a few new posts and I happened to blindly stumble across this story: Jessica Simpson on Open-Source Routers. With a title like that, I had to investigate. Ahhhhh.....good humor. Don't get me wrong, it won't have you howling with laughter or anything, but it was just the thing to lighten up an otherwise dreary Monday morning.